An Addict
by Darkpurpleflame
Summary: "A drug...an addiction... Something that I can no longer control, but I don't want to control it." One shot, Ginny is addicted to something deadly, can she keep herself from going over the edge before its to late? A view to a darker side to Ginny's life.


AN: This fic is a one shot, written because I wanted to see if I can get rid of the writers block. I might continue...not sure yet. Anyway, be warned its real dark and angsty, includes reference to drugs and there is sex. A bit of 'dream team' bashing but its all in the name of my fic.  
  
I wish I owned HP and their world but alas I dont so dont sue, I'm broke and all you would be getting would be negative money.   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Its like an addiction, a drug that fuels my senses. Throughout the day I can feel myself shaking uncontrollably, the thin film of sweat down my spine, I want to leave. I feel eager to run up to my dorm and escape this world, I want to feel the rush, the whir, the swirl, as I leave my body behind for a few precious moments to escape into a world where no one call follow.   
  
A drug...  
  
an addiction...  
  
  
Something that I can no longer control, but I don't want to control it.  
  
  
a drug...  
  
  
an addiction....  
  
  
I want to give in the darkness, let it wrap its black wings around my form in a comforting hold on my mind.   
  
  
The shaking, I cant hold it any longer, I need to escape.  
  
  
a drug....   
  
  
an addiction....  
  
  
My breath becomes jagged as I try to calm my nerves, I know I must be deadly pale, but no one notices, no one ever does. I might as well be invisible, part of the shadows....the thought of shadows makes me shake even more. I look around me and see that no one else had this problem, this urge  
  
  
a drug....  
  
an addiction....  
  
  
The final bell rings and my escape draws near, I struggle trough the mass of students trying to reach my oblivion, I have no problem with the weight that I have lost to maneuver myself through the crowd.  
  
  
a drug...  
  
  
an addiction....  
  
  
I practically yell the password to the portrait as I rush towards it, I can feel the taste of bile rising up my throat, I cant stop shaking. I somehow manage to make my way inside, and find the strength to run up the dorm stairs.   
  
  
a drug...  
  
  
an addiction...  
  
  
I know I can't continue living like this, but what other choice do I have, I cant live without it.  
  
  
a drug...  
  
  
an addiction...  
  
It had its perks as well as its faults, I have more knowledge because of it, but I don't have a moment of peace if I am not with it. My mind wants to feel its powerful hold on it once again.  
  
  
a drug...  
  
  
an addiction...  
  
  
What would they say if they knew that the prefect and model student, the quiet girl, the supposedly Harry Potter groupie, is actually an addict, an addict to the most deadly substance known to the wizarding world, not that they knew that it still existed?  
  
  
an addict...  
  
  
I rush to my room, locking the door with the most powerful locking spell to my knowledge, one that Hermione couldn't open with her 'alohamora' spell. Not that she would ever care to bother with me, not even my dear brother cares, the only brothers who did had already moved on from hogwarts and had their own problems to worry about their little 'innocent' sister.  
  
  
an addict...  
  
  
I drop everything, by books and scrolls scatter on the stone floor, my ink well smashes and scatters ink everywhere, but I don't care. I jump to my bead and reach behind the headboard, feeling for my only means of escaping.  
  
  
the drug...  
  
  
A small black book, a book that somehow came back from Lucius' hands and into my own, it was as good as new, the leather binding was fixed through countless spell, the pages had been mended through many charms and hexes. I touch the cover with light feathery touches, I can feel its dark power already calming my shakes, calming the need, the want for escape. I am as light as a feather as I look at my little book lovingly, knowing that in a few moments I could escape, to feel the whirling sensation as I am pulled into a world of darkness.   
  
  
An addiction...  
  
  
I practically scream when I hear a knock on my door, tears start welling from my eyes and falling on the cover of my precious escape, my drug that fuels my senses. I reluctantly place it under my pillow, the shakes comeback worse than before, I cant even walk straight to the door, I hold on to the side of the wall. I blindly find the doorknob and take off the charm, I open it and mentally scream to see my brother and his friends standing on the other side. I force a smile, and hope they don't notice my agitation.  
  
  
An addict cant live without her drug for long...  
  
  
I somehow, through the shakes, hear them asking if I wanted to go visit Hagrid with them before dinner, I have no problem with Hagrid, he is a kind and gentle man that shows more interest in me then my brother and his friends. Which is why I cant go, he already suspects of me, especially after I started shaking in his class one day, even though it was a bright and sunny day outside. I am shaking far worse than I was then and yet, the people in front of me don't seem to notice. Sometimes I question their intelligence, even Hermiones, they can be really oblivious when it comes to things that have to deal with me. I deny their request, I know the only reason they asked was because they knew I wouldn't, before they can get another word in I close the door in their face. I collapse on the floor after using my last bit of strength to lock the door again, I make a feeble attempt to crawl to my bed, and somehow manage it. Lifting myself up I scratch the comforter, digging my fingers through the material, I pull and the pillows move towards me. The book falls next to me and I collapse on the stone again, no longer able to hold myself up.  
  
  
Drugs are usually used as means to escaping the addicts reality, no longer able to handle the world around them...  
  
  
I lift the leather bound cover, and smile as I welcome the tingly sensation as a swirl of darkness consumes me, like black wings holding me, hugging me, lifting me to my escape. To my drug...I enter the book, my hair billowing around my pale face, the red contrasts with the swirl of black around me. I land on a large bed, green lamps surrounding me, casting dark shadows in the small room. But I am not afraid, I am relieved, I am no longer shaking, I am in a state of bliss.   
  
  
The euphoric sensation a drug causes is the brain lacking much needed oxygen, it slowly kills the addict...  
  
  
I stand I walking towards the mirror in front of me, I smile at my reflection, not noticing the small circles under my eyes, the loss of sparkle that my eyes once had in abundance... I don't even notice that my freckles have disappeared forming a slight blush on the white translucent color of my face. All I see is a dark shadow behind me, as it wrapped its black wings around my body, I lean into the shadows body. I twist around to see a pair of gleaming red eyes as they slowly form into green, the shadow materializes into a solid body, I place my hand on its check and whisper.  
  
  
Tom...  
  
  
He brings my face to his, his cool breath sending the hairs on the back of my head to stand on end, I close my eyes as he brings his lips down to crush my own in a fevered kiss.   
  
  
the drug...  
  
  
He wraps a strong arm around my waist and we kiss our way back to his bed, my clothes are scattered with his own on the stone floor, I feel calm as I feel his dark kisses all over my body, leaving small bruises marking them on my skin. I feel his power calming me, soothing me as he takes me as his own, he enjoys my gasping noises and makes me want to scream in bliss as he bites my neck. I hear him whispering in my head.  
  
  
scream for me...  
  
  
I give in to him, wanting to please him wanting to let him control me, to let him have his way with me, I don't mind it, I welcome it with open arms. I scream. More bruised kisses cover me as I do so, I gasp again, feeling warmth consuming my body. He looms over me, his arms on either side of my head, the lights behind him make his body blend in with the shadows, the only thing I can see are his eyes, as they stare into my soul.   
  
  
the addict...  
  
  
I need more, I need to have more of him, I want him, and only him, and he knows it. More bruising kisses cover me again, the immense power of his body pushing into me, I hold on to him not wanting to let go, the feeling of his skin beneath my fingers sends shivers down my spine. I dig my nails into his skin and he moans in response, I hear him whispering my name, it rolls from his tongue like music, flowing freely to my ears.  
  
  
Virginia...  
  
  
The warm sensation consumes me once again, I can feel him gasping for air as his sweaty body looms over my own. He falls to my side and brings me with him, I lay me head on his chest wanting to hear his heartbeat, its slow rhythmic thumps soothe me to a calm dreamless sleep.  
  
  
the Drug...  
  
  
I awake on my own bed, he had once again clothed me and brought me back to my own world as I slept. In the pocket of my robes I know lies a note, there always is. I unfold the piece of parchment and read.  
  
  
Till we meet again my sweet Virginia  
please don't keep me waiting that   
long again, your the only one who   
gets hurt in the process. Don't let   
the shakes consume you once more   
my dear, because next time, I doubt  
you can keep from away from your  
'addiction' for to long without   
killing yourself.  
  
With all my love  
The Drug  
  
  
I cry, knowing that he was right, I know that I cant stay away from him for much longer, as much as I try I cant fight it anymore. The drug that consumes my senses, the drug that I need, want, and cant live without. I feel calm at the moment though, I am at full strength, but at what price...at what price...  
  
  
I stand walking to a mirror knowing what I was going to see.  
  
  
An addict.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Ya like don't like let me know.  
DPF THE ALMIGHTY SPORK GODDESS!!! 


End file.
